Wednesday, June 06, 2007

The Ugly Indian Motorist

As promised. The Ugly Indian Motorist:
  1. Will not take his hand off the horn even when he can see that there is no fricken way for the car ahead of him to move even an inch.

  2. Will think nothing of driving on the right side of the road in order to overtake a vehicle.

  3. While performing the aforementioned overtaking maneuver, will end up blocking the opposite traffic. Everybody sits and cools their heels while UIM sheepishly tries to merge back into his own side of the road.

  4. Is under the impression that all vehicles with horsepower less than his own will have to give way for him even if they are already struggling to cling on to the margin of the road.

  5. Will respond with a blank stare when posed the term "lane discipline".

  6. Ditto for "signal" and "speed limit".

  7. Most probably does not know how to read.

  8. Most probably drives somebody else's vehicle. In other words, is not responsible for its upkeep.

  9. Terrorises hapless vehicles in front of him by revving his massive engine while waiting at the signal (the Big Red Light one needs to stop for, I mean).

  10. Chuckles to himself when he thinks of the stupid bureaucrats who have planned for zebras to cross the road when we all know that zebras live only in Africa. Duh!

  11. Is geeky enough to sport a bumper sticker that says "No place like", but still doesn't know that to turn right, one has to stay in the, um, right lane. On second thoughts, Mr UIM's son in the States probably sent the sticker to dad.

  12. Does things like this.