A rope walks into a pub. The barman says, "You were in here causing trouble. Go on, get out."I'm afraid not. Get it? Ha ha. The next one:
The rope shuffles outside and winds his top half round his bottom half, vigorously rub his head against a lamppost then goes back into the pub. "Oi!" shouts the barman. "Didn't I just throw you out?"
"Nah, mate," says the rope. "I'm a frayed knot."
One man hated that his wife was always nursing sick birds. At home he found a crow with a splint on his beak sitting in his favourite chair. On the dining table a feverish eagle was pecking at an Aspirin, while in the kitchen his wife was comforting a shivering little wren that she found in the snow.Oh, I get it. Not in front of the children. Bwahaha, stop it, you're killing me.
"I can't take it any more!" he said. "We've got to get rid of all these darn..."
His wife cut him off in mid-curse. "Please, dear," she said. "Not in front of the chilled wren."