Sunday, February 01, 2009

Slumdog Millionaire

Note: Please refer to this for more on the evaluation parameters.

Question #1: The ability of the movie to hold your attention is:
A. Huh, you were saying?
C. So so
B. Very good
D. Let's go out for pizza

Question #2: The quality of stunts/effects/action sequences is:
A. Excellent
C. So so
B. Very good
D. Not really applicable
How can there be two correct answers to a Who wants to be a millionaire contest question, you ask. Bite me.

Question #3: How would you rate the crispness of the dialog?
A. So crispy I thought it was the popcorn
C. So so
B. Very good
D.Stilted and soggy like a wet samosa

Question #4: What about the clicheness index?
A. Completely refreshing and original
C.It's a Bollywood movie. Need I say more?
B. Very good
D. Danny Boyle directed this? Seriously?

Question #5: How would you rate the originality of the plot?
A. Very highly
C.It's a Bollywood movie. Need I say more?
B. Quite original
D. Danny Boyle directed this? Seriously?

Question #6: Believability of the plot:
A. Same thing happened to me a while ago
C. It's a Bollywood movie. Need I say more?
B. Heck, I know Jamal
D. CowboyNeal

Question #7: Quality of the cast and their acting:
A. I am uplifted
C. It's a Bollywood movie. Need I say more?
B. I've seen better
D. Abysmal

If you banish the thought that you have to like the movie -- it's won ten Oscar nominations, A R Rahman put together the music, so you better leave the country if you don't like it, you dirty traitor, and so on -- Slumdog Millionaire is a very average movie. The choice of English for the dialog reminded (I should say brought bad memories, rather) of Sins, another movie I remember for all the wrong reasons.

Except for the younger versions of Salim, Jamal and Latika, everybody else turns in pretty crappy performances. Irfan Khan's talents are criminally underutilized, and as for Anil Kapoor, can't really blame anybody -- there's not much talent to utilize, is there? He could have gone easy on all the sneering, though.

The climax reminded me of The Truman Show, with everybody glued to their television sets, watching the fortunes of their hero ebb and flow, but here the suspense and drama are inherited (stolen?) from the Millionaire contest format than anything else.

BTW, the best scene in the movie is the Bollywood dance in VT right before they start rolling the credits. That says a lot.